A Leap of Faith

Today I made a leap of faith. 

For several years now, I’ve wanted desperately to put more time into my photography, and shoot more events around the area to try and drum up more business. But because 99% of the events are scheduled on Friday, Saturday and Sunday, I can’t go because I usually have to work on Fridays and Saturdays. 

I woke up on New Year’s Day with an overwhelming sense of “this will be the year!” This year - 2018 - will be the year to really get serious about it and DO something to make it happen!  That feeling has been so terribly strong that I’ve just been aching to jump and run. I’ve been dreading going to work and hating it more and more every day.

I had an appointment with an investment rep to discuss my retirement fund, selling baseball cards, and putting my photography plan in place. I’ve been hesitating because I just don’t know if I can make it work, financially. But as she pointed out - I might as well go for it now, while I have financial assistance for food and medical. I guess if any time was the right time, it is most certainly now.

So I stopped in at work to talk to the Assistant Manager about it.  Both she and the Store Manager were there so I proposed it to both of them.  I told them that I wanted to pursue more photography, and to shoot at events around the area, and that I wanted to cut back to four days a week. I knew she would have no problem cutting my hours back, but the big issue was getting the days off I wanted.

I explained that I needed Fridays, Saturdays, and Sundays off because that is when all of the events are scheduled. The Assistant Manager said “of course”, and then became very hesitant about it. I told her that this could be the stupidest decision I've ever made, and it could all come back to bite me in the ass, but I did not want to look back in five or ten years and kick myself for not jumping on an opportunity that was literally placed right in my lap, and I really did not want to look back and say, "I wish I had". That must have been the comment that persuaded her, because after thinking about it for a few minutes, she said, “Well, I guess make yourself unavailable in the system then.”  I took that as an ok, and jumped right onto the computer to make myself unavailable.  I also handed her a typed proposal with my "plan" on it, and the days I needed off to put my plan into action - two sheets; one for them and one for me, both signed and dated. 

I also told the Assistant Manager to call me if they need extra help on the weekends, and if I was not scheduled for a photo shoot, I’d be happy to come in and work. She said she would be calling me every weekend, to which I said that was fine. She also asked if I would be willing to work nights. Damn, that was my ace in the hole if she balked at this, and I really didn't want to play it, but I told her that as much as I hate night shifts, I would be willing to do that to make this happen - BUT that I won’t work Thursday nights, because if I have an out of town shoot, I’d need Thursday evenings for travel. 

I was very surprised that she agreed to it - and so quickly. I truly thought she’d put up a stink about taking every weekend off, but I’m sure as hell not going to question it - I’m going to RUN with it! 

I am so nervous about this, but so very excited at the same time, and as I drove out of the parking lot, I had the biggest smile on my face that I’ve had for a very long time! It's very possible that it may turn out to be the worst decision I’ve ever made, and it may come back to bite me, but even if it does, at least I can say I tried.